Over the past few months, I’ve discovered the secrets of loyalty and motivation through the reading of Loyalty 3.0 (Paharia, 2013) and The Relationship Economy (DiJulius, 2019). Both of these books have provided an incredible amount of perspective and insight into the world of marketing, but emphasize the idea that marketing is more than just that – it’s about building relationships. Relationships with customers, fellow employees, managers, stakeholders, etc. Without a track record of building positive relationships or maintaining trustworthiness, it can be hard to sell a product or service. I’ve learned that a business can be made to look good through branding and marketing efforts, but without proper attention to planning and utilization of resources to build meaningful relationships, an organization can crumble easily. The most prominent examples of this can be found in DiJulius’ work, The Relationship Economy (2019).
Hence the title of his book, DiJulius demonstrates a firm belief throughout his book that we currently live in a “relationship economy”, meaning that the connections we make throughout our lives hold significant value. He states that there is a skill that when mastered, has the biggest impact on an individual both personally and professionally, and that skill is the “ability to build an instant connection with others” (DiJulius, 2019). As our society develops into a more digitally driven state, progressively lacking in human, personable customer service, The Relationship Economy digs down into the belief that the ability to build relationships will greatly benefit individuals and organizations no matter how digitally progressive the culture may be.
Whether interacting in business meetings, communicating with a customer or colleague, or even simply socializing in the grocery store, making connections that lead to strong relationships is an immensely helpful skill to possess. DiJulius talks about the FORD method, giving us a basis for how to start conversations with people. F stands for Family, O, Occupation, R, Recreation, and D for Dreams (DiJulius, 2019). These 4 topics may seem simple – and they are – but they open the door for more meaningful conversations, as most people will have at least one of these topics that resonates deeply with them. They are hot buttons, allowing people to talk about someone they care about a lot- themselves! These topics also typically usher in “big talk” conversations, allowing you to transition from boring, often meaningless small talk topics and diving straight into the heart and mind of a person (2019). Relationships are built on conversations, so why not start a relationship off strong by showing your colleague, customer, or new friend that you truly care; why blend in to the mundane and forgettable motions of small talk when you can show a person you actually care about who they are, where they came from, and where they’re going.
DiJulius’ ideas of powerful conversations emphasizes the greatness of human connection in a world increasingly focused on digital evolution. The concepts he presents align with the Biblical call we see in Romans 12 that urges us to prioritize living in harmony with our brothers and sisters. Romans 12:16 says “Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited” (NIV). As Christians, we are instructed to live in harmony and unity with one another- so why should we ignore one another or neglect opportunities to truly get to know a person when we can dive in with the FORD method and initiate big talk.
When reading The Relationship Economy, I found myself being challenged to put the principles and ideas into daily practice- and when I did, I was surprised by how much more meaningful each small interaction I encountered could be. From chatting while folding laundry with a fellow volunteer at the Humane Society to making small (and eventually big;) talk with my internship supervisor, the ideas discussed in DiJulius’ book gives actionable insight for building relationships with those around me. As I enter post-grad life and begin making connections that will impact my future careers, I plan to utilize the principles given by DiJulius to build lasting and impactful relationships wherever the Lord leads me.
DiJulius, J. R. (2019). The relationship economy: Building stronger customer connections in the Digital age. Greenleaf Book Group Press.
New International Version. (2011). BibleGateway.com. https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Romans%2012&version=NIV
Paharia, R. (2013). Loyalty 3.0: How to revolutionize customer and employee engagement with big data and Gamification. McGraw-Hill.